If you were hurting, discouraged, angry, indignant, despondent, uncomfortable and/or generally blah… What would a kind friend say to you?

There’s a good chance what you’re saying to yourself (your inner dialogue) is different from what a loving friend would say to you…

How compassionate are you with yourself?

Learning & Teaching Self-Compassion

Learning to be a kind and compassionate friend to yourself will make a world of difference.

Kim Fredrickson

I’ve been reading articles from a marriage and family therapist, Kim Fredrickson. She has battled cancer, and now is dealing with pulmonary fibrosis.

Her writing encourages me – she doesn’t deny there is bad stuff. How could she? She’s grappling with her own mortality, along with a complete change in her ability to live life… And yet she is also able to point her readers to a way of dealing with that bad stuff in an honest, compassionate, God-honoring manner.

Parenting: What would a kind friend say to your child?

Now, consider your role as a parent…

Yup. For those of us with small children, bigger children, and grown children, we might find ourselves cringing a bit. (I am.) Have you ever said or done something while responding to your children that you wish you hadn’t? Do you beat yourself up about it?

And yet – What would a kind friend say?

Even as a grandparent I need to learn more… so I’m reading Kim’s book, “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children“. It’s much more than the typical parenting/grandparenting book…

She provides both the big picture and the practical with ideas on how to respond to yourself and your children when life is frustrating.

She says,

“Self-compassion differs from self-esteem.”

“Self-compassion focuses on being kind to oneself while learning from life experiences. Our inherent value comes from being a unique creation of God, not because of our accomplishments.”

Kim Fredrickson – “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children”

Are you kind to yourself while learning from the mess-ups?

Everything in life is not perfect and never will be. Being optimistic does NOT mean we ignore our messes and mistakes. There was only One human who walked this earth with the ability to be perfect. (It’s not you or me.)

Yes, we do need to deal with our own mistakes and possibly address the mess-ups our children/grandchildren make… But let’s do it kindly. Please.

Give yourself a break.

Let’s try to be as kind to ourself as a loving friend would be…

Kim covers such topics in her book as:

  • getting kids to listen
  • teaching responsibility
  • setting limits
  • helping your kids with fear and anger
  • skills to help children work through tough situations
  • and much more.
Give your kids a break - parenting with compassion for you and your children. What would a kind friend say?

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What would a kind friend say when you mess up? Give yourself - and your kids - a break.

Want to read more about kindness? Check out this post!