Be kind. Always. With yourself and others.
It’s rare to know how much someone else is hurting…
Even if you’re standing next to them…
(Regardless – even if you’re their spouse, parent, sibling, best friend, significant other, and especially if they’re a stranger.)
That person could be feeling totally broken, but we couldn’t realize.
Make kindness a habit. Always. No matter the provocation.
A few years ago I had a heart-breaking experience with a grouchy security guard at a library in Florida. We had been traveling full-time for a while and regularly used the WiFi at the public libraries to work during the day. This was the only library, over the space of two years, that had a “be silent” policy and a guard to back it up.
He prowled the stacks of books seeking those talking out loud or on their mobile cell phone to “shush” them with a scowl and to point to the outside door. (Yes, he found me twice – I was “that” woman.) It both humiliated me and made me grumpy too, even though I was clearly in the wrong.
At the end of the day, I sat outside on a bench waiting for Rob to pick me up. (The truck was parked a fair ways away.) I saw the grumpy guard on another bench. It was so tempting to ignore him. And yet…
Be Kind. Always. To yourself and others.
(Do you ever get those inner promptings? I do. And I’ve learned not to ignore them.)
So I got up and walked over to the grumpy guard’s bench and sat beside him. I started the conversation about the weather. (You’ll find that’s often the opening line with a Canadian… I don’t know why.) Since it was Florida in the winter, the sun was shining and warm, it was a good start. Anyway. He began to share.
He shared his whole life story with me – I guess I appeared to be a friendly ear.
He hadn’t had an easy life. And the latest blow was his cancer diagnosis.
The grumpy guard was scheduled for treatment the next week and he was afraid. He wasn’t on speaking terms with his siblings and It didn’t seem like he had a support system around him. But for those few moments, I was privileged to listen and put a hand on his arm to convey that someone cared.
He told me he believed in God, so I assured him that I would pray for him. By the time Rob pulled up in the truck I had gotten a few smiles out of that grumpy guard. I hope, with all my heart, that my kindness made a difference. Even if it was for only a few moments.
There was no way I would have known his story. And his fear, hurt, loneliness, and isolation. I’m chagrined that I just saw an old man who “shushed” me. At least at first. However, I’m not going to beat myself up – I’ve learned from that experience. Hopefully, I won’t make the same mistake again.
Be kind. Always. With yourself and others.
There’s great power in kindness. Regardless.
Want ideas? Here are 25 easy ways to add kindness to your day.
Or, if you want to go further, then why not explore and document being kind – it would be a good way to foster an attitude of kindness in your family… Here’s a journal/workbook I wrote with 100+ ideas and places to document being kind – it’s available on Amazon:
Often when I am in a waiting room, or in a grocery line (anywhere there are a lot of people) I consider all of the stories that are there. How many people had their feelings hurt that day? How many are in emotional or physical pain? How many are facing financial hardship? Most of the time, these are things we can’t see with our eyes. It’s important to consider these things though, to give one another the benefit of the doubt. And, it gets our thoughts off of our own problems. We all have them, don’t we? One day, a woman was trying to lift some dog food into the back of her car in the grocery store parking lot. She saw my husband and me walking toward the store and she called him over. He was too kind to deny her help, despite the fact that at the time, he was extremely ill from chemotherapy. He still had his hair, so most people never would have guessed. It took all the strength he had to do her that favor. He wouldn’t let me help either, out of concern for me. At first, I was a little miffed. Then, I thought about these invisible things and decided to use it as a reminder that we rarely know what another is going through. Being kind to one another is a gift we can give each other. The world can be hard enough on people. We don’t need to add to it.
Excellent post. EVERYONE should read a post like this. As I have said before, I always tell my kids to be kind – you do not know what people go home to. Thanks for this great reminder!
This is something I have worked hard to model for my kids! Be nice to everyone, no matter who they are or what job they have. It’s so important. I often have people share their life stories with me and I love they feel safe to do so. Thanks for this great post.
How great that you went over to talk with him. I am the same way, I always try to be friendly with everyone and there have been times when they strike up a conversation and makes them and me feel good. I enjoyed your blog post, everyone needs to be kinder in the world.
Thanks for sharing that story Lori.
I feel the same, but unfortunately my husband and I are not on the same line about that… I used to think there is always a (good) reason for people to act the way they do. We don’t always have to know about it, but at least we must show respect and give a smile, a hand, an ear, … well, a bit of sunshine to brighten some bad mood around us.
A lovely initiative from you! I’m with you on kindness.
The other week the lady in my grocery store was clearly feeling sick, yet I didn’t say anything. But when I came back yesterday I told her I was glad she was clearly feeling better. It was the first time I ever saw her smile and she continued a little chat with me while I was paying. It can be so easy!
It’s very rare, but last week I gave a little ”homework’ assignment in our small group. Not required, but I encouraged participation. I got a call, one of the group was concerned, did not understand the assignment. Could I help her? “Sure, I’d be happy to!” I told her to come 1/2 hour early. She was so grateful I almost had tears. She wanted to be part of the experience of sharing and it was hard for her. Such a small thing on my part, but a big deal to her. A small act of kindness with huge results!